In online parenting and study-abroad communities, I often see the same question:
“Is it actually possible to move abroad and study with children — especially as a mother on your own?”
Sometimes it is asked by women considering graduate school after years of parenting.
Sometimes by mothers wondering if it is already too late.
I know the feeling because I asked myself the exact same question for years.
Sometimes by people quietly holding onto a dream they are almost afraid to say out loud.
Could I really move overseas and pursue a PhD while raising two children?
And more importantly:
Would it be fair to my kids? Would I survive it?
A Dream That Never Fully Disappeared
Before moving to the UK, I spent a long time wrestling with those questions.
The truth is, studying abroad had been on my bucket list for years.
More than a decade ago, I seriously considered doctoral study in the United States. I emailed professors, researched programs obsessively, and even drove five hours to visit a university nearly 300 miles away because I wanted to see what life there might feel like.
Then life happened.
I became pregnant with my second child.
We eventually left the US, and that version of the dream quietly slipped into the background.
But it never completely disappeared.
If anything, it became quieter — and more persistent.
Life became busy with parenting, school runs, laundry, meals, and all the invisible work of motherhood.
Yet every so often, the thought would return:
What if I tried again?
Not because I wanted prestige.
Not because I wanted to prove something.
But because somewhere deep down, I still wanted to learn. I wanted to finish something I had once imagined for myself.
When the Idea Started Feeling Real
When my younger child turned four, things slowly started to feel more manageable.
Communication became easier.
Daily routines became less overwhelming.
Nursery became possible.
And for the first time in years, the idea of studying abroad stopped feeling like fantasy and started feeling like a real decision.
That was the moment the difficult questions truly began.
Could I realistically raise two children overseas while doing a PhD?
Could I manage school schedules, illnesses, paperwork, meals, and emotional labour while trying to write academically?
Could I survive the loneliness of doing much of it alone?
And, perhaps most practically:
Could we afford it?
Because pursuing a PhD abroad is not simply about getting accepted.
There are many layers of preparation.
A master’s degree.
A clear research direction.
A research proposal.
Personal statements.
References.
Applications.
And then there is the reality people do not talk about enough:
financial planning.
Especially with rising living costs, currency exchange rates, rent, and childcare, the financial side can feel overwhelming.
In many ways, money becomes part of the emotional decision-making too.
You are not just asking:
Can I study?
You are asking:
Can my family live this life?
For a long time, I did what many mothers probably do.
I thought.
Overthought.
Made spreadsheets.
Changed my mind.
Asked myself impossible questions.
Then slowly, imperfectly, I moved forward anyway.
So — Is It Really Possible?
Looking back now, after completing my PhD, I finally feel able to answer the question that once kept me awake at night:
Is it possible to move abroad for a PhD alone with two children?
Yes.
It is possible.
But I want to be honest:
It is not easy.
There were far more difficult moments than I expected.
Unexpected childcare problems.
Financial stress.
Exhaustion.
Guilt.
Loneliness.
The constant feeling of never doing enough — neither as a mother nor as a student.
There were days when everything felt impossible.
And still, somehow, we kept going.
Because the truth is, you do not need a perfect situation to begin.
You just need enough reasons to continue.
Little by little, you build systems.
You adapt.
You lower impossible standards.
You ask for help when you can.
And somehow, life reshapes itself around the decision.
Over time, I hope to share more of what this journey has really looked like — the financial worries, emotional ups and downs, parenting abroad, school systems, routines, unexpected joys, and the lessons I learned along the way.
Not because I have all the answers — but because I know how lonely and impossible this decision can feel when you are standing at the beginning.
